Healers need Healing too

"If I don’t take the time to attend to my own injuries in a very focused and awakened way, I can go down the spiral fast, seeking to return to myself and not knowing how.”- Dr.Robin Smith

I remember playing a show over a year ago at the Side Door Jazz Club in Old Lyme, CT, and this audience member approached me at the end of the show; shook my hands, and with tears in his eyes said; “Ulysses, I had a really horrible day, and your music healed me; thank you."

This man didn’t realize that his comments healed me. Sometimes, as artists, we don’t quite know the impact that we have on people with our art. The reality is, we need the healing just as much as our audience does, and just like them, we have no idea when it will come. But, we commit to our craft, and somehow remnants of how we create trickles into our soul and creates some relief. 

As a musician, I was told early on that my role in life is to heal audiences through my craft; even if that wasn’t my goal, I had to acknowledge that others have the ability to receive healing from my talent if I am operating from my most authentic place. 

Healers can bring clarity, and awareness; that awareness can allow for self-reflection, which enables us to fully see what ever is ailing us. That self-reflection alone can be a balm to our hearts and situation. 

Sometimes healing others is hard because once you as a healer learn how to access that part of you that provides healing to others, you sometimes rely on that to give you self-worth and placement. I used to say to myself sometimes, “My life is a wreck, but at least something I’ve done, helped someone else.”  I would take solace in that, all the while understanding I also needed healing because I am human. 

I heard recently, that being vulnerable is one of the most courageous things anyone can do, and for a healer to realize they need healing, and require it, is hard. 

A healer is a person who allows the energy of God’s Spirit to flow through them in a way that guides, rejuvenates and empowers others. The spiritual healer is also a wounded healer. 

Music is a way by which the Spirit uses me. I recognize that I am a healer, but to sustain that gift, I will consistently seek healing through my music and by listening and being empathetic towards all people.

What’s Next?

As musicians and creatives we get plagued with this interesting question, “What’s next?”

Family members, parents, and co-workers constantly say, “We are so happy for you and see things are going well,” and then they ask, “but what happens after this gig?”

Even while on a current gig, other musicians will say “Hey man, great job and hope to play together again, so what’s next?”

What’s next?

What’s freaking next?

My question is, why can’t I just deal with today? 

As a creative choosing everyday to pursue my dream and only commit my life to things that I believe in, there is already a heightened level of anxiety that is built within that pursuit. 

What I find is that anxiety and creativity don’t mix well in the same room. One deals with the infinitive possibilities and letting one’s imagination run wild. The other deals with structuring the imaginative mind and making it produce results and make sense of it’s contents. This tension can add serious pressure to daily life. 

I find that daily as a musician, I constantly have to have the mirror talk, and in many ways those talks have many subjects and yet the same subject. 

You are enough. 

Stay committed even though some days it feels uncertain. 

More is coming. 

Why is it to make myself feel better that i have to tell myself that more is coming? The fact that I am living in the reality of so many amazing things that have already arrived should be enough. 

Personal admittance, when I am at home writing and goal-setting, I am addicted to looking at my calendar daily, but get this, I am hardly looking at the current date. I am constantly looking forward and anticipating and trying to strategically structure what could be next. 

What if I challenged that thought and actions with the truth that, I am what’s next?

My presence and commitment to the moment is next. 

What’s next?

No more fear, no more anxiety and I will be thankful declaring that today is now enough for me.