“Men don’t need love; they need respect.”- Dr. Myles Munroe
One of the interesting things to me that I have begun to discover in the single life is no matter who I choose to date, or interact with, there are some non-tangibles that work within the friendship or within a realm of something more romantically. If those intangibles aren’t acknowledged, I find it can be hard to sustain.
Most of my blog ideas come from things I hear or read. One of my friends sent me a video about marriage and the speaker said, “Men don’t need love; they need respect.” Also that, “The love women give a man stems from her respect towards him.”
This was incredibly insightful to me because it keeps speaking to the reality that I notice men and women need different things in life emotionaly. Even for my friends that experience diversity in their sexual orientation and romantic interests, or even how they identify in terms of gender, the fact still remains that men want respect.
Let me unpack simple moments when I feel I am not respected.
I. When I am not heard.
One of the gifts I try to really refine constantly is to be a good listener, listening to what is said and not said from a person. Also learning to hear beyond my own perspective or even desires and hear that person’s truth. When I am not heard, it makes me feel I am not respected enough to allow me to express myself and my desires, so that the other person has a chance to understand me better.
II. When my time is not honored
The greatest currency in my opinion is time. Why? Because I will never get it back and if my time is mismanaged, I find it can slow things down in my life. Not that I have to be moving at lightning speed, but I have a rule in my life that I must always be progressing forward. When people don’t honor my time, it makes me not feel respected.
III. When people are not kind
I feel that one of the greatest gifts I can give someone is kindness. It’s free but it speaks volumes about someone’s character and if they are committed to being kind even in a difficult situation, it shows so much beauty in their core. I know that everything in life won’t be easy, but when I focus on being kind, it improves the quality of my interactions.
IV. When people are not honest
Within relationships, I find that for some people it’s hard to be honest. Real talk, sometimes it’s been hard for me too because honesty can reveal some hard truths that I am not ready to face or deal with at that moment, or I feel there is going to be so much pain around that honesty for others connected to me. But when I respect someone, it’s best to just be honest because even if they end up being mad at my honesty, they will still respect me.
Let me be clear, I feel women and men need to both be given respect; however, we both receive love in different ways. I truly believe that respecting a man, if his actions are respectful and worth, is the quickest way to build a solid bond.