September 21, 2018
“Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.”- Hebrews 11:1
When I think of the subject of faith in my life and what it is to have faith, it has been the very core of my existence and everything connected to it. I am so thankful to have been raised in a household that was centered around having faith to move the mountains of our life’s challenges, and having integrity walk us down the various roads in life.
However, the concept and context of faith has changed so much from year to year from me, including depending on how much I am living and trust God in this life.
As a child, I had faith in what my parents told me, trusting in their wisdom, and knowing what they suggested was in my best interest.
As a teenager, I began to have faith in my dreams, and seeking after what my heart desired via music, and otherwise. But to be honest, I was bright eyed bushy tailed, and didn’t really have the concept or context of what faith is by my own definition.
I remember my father saying to me when I got ready to apply for college, “Son, you need to go to the military (Marine Corps., who was scouting me at the time,) and that way they will pay for your college and you’ll get health benefits and a salary.” I told my father I wasn’t interested in that kind of stability, I wanted to learn and study art at the highest level with peers that would challenge me to no end. One of the biggest acts of faith for me was to only apply to three colleges because I honestly knew that I was destined to go to Juilliard.
When my faith kicks in, and I have an inkling of the direction I am supposed to go in, I pray, fasten my emotional seatbelt, and hold onto what I feel so deeply internally. Nothing can deter me.
Activating my faith for me is such an inner battle, because my will tells me to keep going, but sometimes reality paints a whole new picture that makes me want to doubt. For me, taking that leap is really a motion towards holding fast to my gut instinct, and I am so thankful to be able to discern what is that inner-yearning and guide, and what is just emotional.
A challenge, I feel, is to consistently take that leap, when I am afraid of falling, but faith requires action consistently.
As life can sometimes knock me around here and there, I get a little gun shy, and even fearful questioning, “What if it doesn’t work out this time?”
I then look to the right and left, and I take that huge leap, knowing that living by faith is much more impactful than living without it.